Lost in Space?

Have you ever had that feeling that your safety tether has snapped, you're out of reaction mass, your transponder has failed, you're slowly drifting away from the only source of oxygen within a million miles of vacuum in every direction, and flapping your arms ain't gonna help?

I've had that feeling. But I'm still here. Things worked out.

I know exactly what she's talking about

Great news from 5M today: She's not going to see M for a while. She's decided it's better that way. Amen.

Meanwhile, R is not respecting her feelings. He's doing the staring at other women thing. Looking right over Musie's head while he does it, too.

I know exactly what she's talking about.

Well, not exactly. None of my girlfriends have been big on staring at men while they were with me. A few were big on staring at other women. (I knew because I'd look to see where they were looking before I'd do my staring. Fellows, it's an excellent argument for dating the bi-curious.) But they'd never stare over me to do it, because I like to arrange seating so that we're not across from each other.

But where a number of my girlfriends have shown a lack of honouring me is when we'd be walking somewhere and come across a puppy or a baby. There you are discussing how you'd like to install a fireman's pole in the house or whatever and suddenly she's forgotten you and is down on her knees talking like a deranged nanny. "Look at you, isn't you a wittle sweetie! awww, I wanna take you home."

No, you can't take him home. Leave these people alone and pay attention to me, dammit!

Let's not get into the issues of how she's objectifying these human children or animal companions.

Me and my misdiagnoses

I'm struck by yesterday's posting from 5M. She's chided me in the past for suggesting that depression might be a factor in her life. Yet it seems that a problem that is costing her $50 a month has made her unable to write in her blog. My mind leaps to depression as the reason this makes her not write, but perhaps it's red hot anger? $50 a month is worth paying attention to, I'll agree, but making one unable to blog?

Yesterday, she walked to Sandy Hill and got blisters. She mentions that R did not tell her how far they were walking. Perhaps R assumed as I would that 5M would not own a pair of shoes that would injure her while doing what is ostensibly their designed purpose. If I was writing the DSM-V, I'd put a disorder in for that, but I'd be excoriated for my sexist bias.

Questions

1. Where is the wee she-demon? Silence since Thursday. What was bothering her and keeping her awake at night?


2. Where on that big blue ball are my old friends Agatha and Conch Shell? Are they even alive?


3. When Musie says "A work of post-modern/feminist/colonial fiction" is it "postmodern, postfeminist, and postcolonial fiction"? Or does the "post" only go with the modern? If it's the one where everything is "post", does "post" mean the same thing for each of those words?


4. Will Coyote dislike the picture I sent him because he thinks I made him look too fat? Everyone knows that a spacesuit adds 30 pounds.

Poetry Review

I pretty much always like Musie's poems, but I don't generally say anything, because I figure my reviews fall in the "don't know much, but know what I like" category. So I don't say much about Coyote's poems either, even though I like them too.

The other night I ran into Coyote at the Cantina and he brought up the poem 5M wrote on November Sixth. (The one with the "your leg against my thigh and yellow-shot blue eye pressed into mine".) I've reproduced Coyote's concise but heartfelt review in the accompanying cartoon.

I suspect this poem is what triggered the Chair's "final" posting. One of his best, I thought. Good and punchy, and introduced several dating concepts that haven't been overworked on Seinfeld and Sex and the City, and are relevent to life in Ottawa.

Remembering Aggie

Remember Agatha? She had that way of cutting right to core of a topic.

Latest Life Coach Tips: Web Sites

It's been a long time since I've shared a tip from the Life Coach people. I still get them every week. This week it's Misconception Busting on Websites:


Misconception #1 If I create a website that will appeal to everyone, I’ll get more clients.

The Better Approach: Create a website that is designed to attract one distinct target market.


Misconception #2 If I start by surfing other coach’s websites I’ll learn what I need to do for my own.

The Better Approach: Unfortunately, few coaching websites are well written and designed to funnel prospective clients to coaching services. Instead, start with an introspective process.

1. What are the three most compelling challenges and desires for my target market? Write streamlined content that addresses those issues.
2. What message do I want my web visitors to get from my website? Craft an authentic message that carries through all of your marketing.
3. What actions do I want my web visitors to take? Sure, you want them to contact you for a sample session but most visitors will need an interim way to get to know the value of your services. Make subscribing to your ezine compelling and easy.

Misconception # 3 If I write content that ensures coaching will bring my clients “a more fulfilling life” that will be enough to get prospects to call me.

The Better Approach Dangling abstract promises of fulfilling dreams and goals rarely produces results. Instead, design a marketing funnel – ezine and other free information, mid-price products and services, then higher end products and services – that will build credibility and visibility with your target market.

Timing

It looks like Musie is trying out for the Chair's Blog with her latest piece on relationship stages.

I find it interesting that she sees the 3 month mark, which will be Jan. 7th, as

when you determine whether or not you are in love or have the potential to have a long-term, committed relationship.

I'm sure some of you are thinking exactly what I'm thinking: Jan. 7th? That's less than a month before Fish or Cut Bait Day!

Weekly Roundup

It's been an eventful week for the muse. This morning she writes of saying farewell to the kitties. Breaks my heart, it does. I'm tempted to swoop over to the Humane Society and take those little critters home myself. But a space capsule is no place for a cat. Mice, hamsters and monkeys perhaps, but cats need gravity.

I just had a look at the Humane Society's Adoption page. Lily and Simon don't seem to have made it there yet. This little gal, Peach, is making me think perhaps she could be thinking I'm wrong about cats reaching for the stars. Do you suppose she dreams of asteroid mining the way I do?

Back to Musie, imagine our surprise when she arrived at the Halloween party dressed as Coyote with Rchie in tow!

Our mistake. When she said "New York", she didn't mean "New York, New York", she meant upstate New York. Potsdam probably. Only 131 km or 2 hours by car.

She and R seemed to enjoy themselves and they did plenty of mingling, although some of the other partygoers might have had the idea that Musie wasn't really interested in getting to know them if they weren't the elusive Coyote.

That puppy is a shy one. He slipped away sometime after the costume prizes were awarded.

We've learned a few things about R*, some of it by implication. Here's a quick list of differences from M (Lurkers, feel free to contribute other differences in comments):

• It would appear that when driving, he does not tailgate;
• When he kisses 5M, it's not a peck; and
• He offered to help with the kitties.

In other exciting news:

The Independent Observer is alive! Apparently he was rescued by Vikings (good people those Vikings, and is recovering from his ordeal in Scandinavia.

Back to 5M:

This week, she's given us a little politics and some social commentary. We'd all agree that it's not what we read her blog for, but I for one am glad to see now and then what she's thinking about these things.

I'm also glad she's able to get counterpoint from Bob when the Dude gives her his impersonation of what a man is supposed to think and act like.

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*We did identify R from clues in 5M's blog. I wonder is she has ever considered inventing details to throw us off. Put people's houses on nearby streets, give them an extra sister, use a word to name them that is evocative for her but is not tied to their actual name instead of a letter that is.