What it would take...

I'd like him better if he were my friend

I'd like him better if his sig said Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I'd like him better if he spelled his name right

I'd like him better if he brought you back

I'd like him better if he didn't ponce about so much

I'd like him better if he didn't punch me out every time he saw me

Maybe I'd like him better if his name was Jake Fork

I'd like him better if he'd been dubbed "Thomasito"

I'd like him better if he hadn't been sued multiple times for sexually harassing the models on price is right

I'd like him better if he didn't sound so much like Ray Romano

I'd like him better if he were real

I'd like him better if he didn't wear that!

I'd like him better if he didn't care that I don't like him

I'd like him better if he could pitch

I’d like him better if next time he replied with a “ho ho”

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Or am I asking too much?

I want more than just a blog.
Because I want more than just milk!

I want more than just Wal-Mart. I'd like some larger department stores.
(I want more than just summer, I would take Fall too)

That used to be enough for me, but lately, I want more than just the physical.
In other words I want more than just good design, I want cutting edge technology as well.
Do I want more than just sex?

I want more than just 4 songs (that I can’t purchase or steal) from a band I really like. I want more substance and less nudity, more creativity and less ...
just because I want more than just going in, keeping the kids in line, and following orders.
I Want More Than Just Another Bloody Relationship

What if I want more than just one cup of coffee?

But I want more than just GUI adjustments and a performance boost. I want some fundamental changes,
Because I want more than just a professional career.
More importantly, I want more than just reverse execution.

We are stilll best friends but I want more than just that, how can I tell her...
I want more than just talking for the sake of it.
I want more than just the hit off of a CD
I want more than just shopping and site-seeing.

I want more than just a dripper.
Maybe I want more than just clean hair, after all.

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What's New

Old is the New New
Yellow Is The New Black
Vegetarian is the New Prius
Parenting is the New Black
the Holocaust is the new medium of resistance
Small is the New Big
"One Ford" is the new "Bold Moves"
Divorce Risk is the New Market Risk
Preppy is the new hipster
Awake is the New Sleep
Sausage is the new bacon
spring is the new fall
Thursday Is The New Friday

Tom Cruise is the New Christ?

Free is the new paid
Global Climate Change is the New Tilapia
book is the new way to say cool
Rap music is the new hair metal
We do go on about "less is the new more"

The Spot is the new bar that has replaced PS O'Rourke's
Customer Service is the New Marketing
Water is the new gold
blogging is the new teaching tool that is catching on
Casual Is the New Snooty
The negative gearing of investment properties is the new bread
The foreign correspondent is the new dodo

Negative is the New positive
Jonah Goldberg thinks Iraq is the new North Korea
Google is the new king of forward market growth in computing and software technology

Tom Cruise is the New Messiah!

Time tells me that messy is the new neat
Time is the new currency
Bamboo is the New Granite
The network is the new business platform
Technology is the New Black

Paula Deen is the new spokesperson for Smithfield Foods
Organic Is The New Atkins
Poverty is the new Black
Loyola Sullivan, former Newfoundland and Labrador finance minister, is the
new Canadian ambassador for fisheries conservation

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