Why I would be a good pirate

1. know all the words to Barrat's Privateers
2. C'n rrreally rrroll my arrrs
3. Have used a cutlass
4. and fired a pistol
5. could double as ship's cook when not actually pirating
6. not much experience with wenching but willing to give it a try
7. nor with that card game with the pairs and the flushies but also willing to learn
8. very good with maps
9. passed my swimming test
10. excellent sneer

Why Mining is not so fun

1. Cowboys have better songs
2. So do sailors
3. and train engineers (but not accountants, managers, or lawyers, so make that #11 on Why Mining is fun)
4. Heat and humidity
5. Not enough showers
6. When rats get in, you never get them out
7. Those poor wee canaries
8. No herbal tea in kitchenette
9. No kitchenette
10. Someone blowing up a paper lunchbag and smashing it to make a loud bang behind the guy who survived the methane explosion is only funny if you're not that guy